WINDOWS IN TIME

Baptisms, weddings, funerals. In the past month, these rites of passage all took place here at All Saints. Sometimes these parts of normal church life are humorously referred to as "hatch, match and dispatch." They are also times, if we pay attention, when we discover how present God is in our lives.

Labor Day has come and gone, and in most cities, that holiday is a rite of passage, marking the end of summer programs, the closing of swimming pools. One pop song - "See You in September" - reminds us that, in the words of another pop song, "the seasons, they go 'round and 'round ("The Circle Game," Joni Mitchell). A writer whose devotional e-mail comes to me each morning puts it this way: "September has always seemed to me a time of beginnings. In good years, the summer begins to crack at some point and a dry, cool evening announces that the season is about to change. That change is filled with memories of school beginnings, football games and all the possibilities that new adventures bring" (Forward Day by Day, 9/1/08).

Rites of passage, endings and beginnings, all going 'round and 'round. Ed Friedman, a rabbi and family systems therapist, once said that these moments, especially ones the church calls sacramental, are "windows in time." They are moments when we can stop, look back, look forward and pay attention to God - all at once. They are also moments, he suggested, when we can revisit old wounds and unresolved issues, as we seek healing and forgiveness. Sometimes, "window" moments happen unexpectedly. At other times, they come because we decide it's time. Either way, in what some would call divine choreography, God always shows up, opening windows.

So, here we are, windows open, on Homecoming Sunday. Today we renew our commitment to God or consider making a new one here at All Saints' Episcopal Church. We come together, looking back on our summer vacations, looking forward to what God has in store for us. Children, young people, adults - we have all, in some way, come home to God today, ready for new beginnings, new possibilities, even new life.

Years ago I learned a little song, "I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together…" But what DOES it mean to "be" the church? In Jesus' day, being church was very different. There were not thousands or hundreds or even dozens of choices for worship on Sunday. There weren't Catholics or Protestants or Orthodox or Anglican Christians. Episcopalians weren't on anyone's radar screen. Back in Jesus' time, what was on the mind of every disciple, every follower of Jesus, was survival. In those days, it was dangerous to be a Christian. You might be persecuted or worse for following what was called The Way. It wasn't about choosing between one church and another. It was about choosing between life and death.

Today, at least in this country, it's different. If we don't agree with what a particular church says or does, we can simply move on, join another church or even start one. Nevertheless, those who followed The Way of Jesus in the early centuries of Christianity did have differences and conflicts. Otherwise, Matthew's gospel account wouldn't have given us this teaching of Jesus.

"If another member of the church sins against you," Jesus tells his disciples, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone" (Matthew 18:15). He goes on to describe the rest of a four-step process, which involves bringing other people into the conversation and, finally, redoubling one's efforts to love, just as Jesus loved Gentiles and tax collectors and everyone. I don't know about you, but that sounds hard to me.

Of course, being imperfect human beings, we tend to take the easy way out, skip step one and go right to the last part of step three. Someone has hurt me, and I'm telling the whole church and the world about it! What we don't want to hear is Jesus telling us to go to the whole church only when everything else fails. The first step, always, he says, is to go directly to the offending person - privately, alone, without any kind of fanfare.

In other words, when we fail to take the first step - going directly to the person who has hurt us - we cut off all possibility of getting others involved in a helpful, healthy way. In family systems language, this is called triangling. If it takes two to tango, it takes three to triangle.

Here's an example: when Adam is in trouble with God, he claims Eve is to blame. When God confronts him, Adam seeks to shift the burden of conflict by trying to triangle Eve. Then, when Eve encounters God, she triangles the snake. Throughout history, of course, Eve has been blamed. But Eve has gotten a bad rap. Eve simply imitated Adam. Both of them skipped step one of Jesus' conflict resolution process. I wonder: does that mean that, if they never met Jesus, they're off the hook?
The problem is: we are not Adam and Eve. We have met Jesus. He is here with us, here, right now. We can't get off the hook. The question is: how are we doing with step number one? Has someone in the church sinned against you or me? Has someone hurt us in mind, body or spirit? Actually, being imperfect human beings, the question isn't "has" or "if." It's "when" and "how." When someone sins against you or me, how do we handle it?

Have we turned to someone else to talk about the person we should be talking to instead? Have we gone into cahoots with a friend to gang up on someone else? Have we looked for a sympathetic third person who will share our irritation with a problem person and join our pity party? When we do these things, we're human, just like Adam and Eve. When we triangle, when we avoid someone, when we fail to work things out, we act things out.

And yet, how easy it is to triangle. How hard it is to stay with the tango, a dance for two - just two people, dealing with sin, struggling with repentance, seeking forgiveness, longing for love. What we dance partners forget in all of our triangling and unresolved, conflicted dancing is that we are never alone. God is always with us. Jesus is on this forgiveness journey with us, every step of the way. The Holy Spirit is always at work, leading us, guiding us, even disturbing us into a new dance, a new way of life.

At Baptisms we pray, "(God), we thank you that by water and the Holy Spirit you have bestowed upon (us) the forgiveness of sin and have raised (us) to the new life of grace" (Book of Common Prayer, p. 308) At weddings, we pray, "Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other's forgiveness and yours" (BCP, p. 429) At funerals, we pray, "into your hands, O Merciful Savior, we commend your servant…Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming" (BCP, p. 499). When it comes to being a Christian, it's as simple as this: we are forgiven. That's it. All we have to do is embrace the forgiveness we have already been given.

But first, before forgiveness happens, we must also embrace repentance. We must be ready to examine our lives with rigorous honesty. We must be ready to change our old habits, our old behaviors, our old ways of life, so that we can embrace new habits, new behaviors, new life. We must remember that we are not alone in all of this. We are made by God in love for love, and every step, every baby step of our way is marked by the forgiveness of our loving God.

Next week, we'll hear more about God's forgiveness. For now, welcome. Welcome home to All Saints' Episcopal Church. Come and join the journey with us, a journey with Jesus into new life. On this Homecoming Sunday, we welcome you to look through this window in time with us. As we look back, we also have much to look forward to. We're so glad you're here with us!

The Rev. Thomas A. Momberg
All Saints' Episcopal Church, Frederick, MD
September 7, 2008