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Miracles, miracles, miracles. Loaves and fishes. Walking on water. What are we to make of these old, familiar Bible stories? Here’s a fresh take on the loaves and fishes, by way of a poem called “Logos.” It’s from my favorite poet, Mary Oliver: Why wonder about the loaves and the fishes? If you say the right words, the wine expands. If you say them with love and the felt ferocity of that love, and the felt necessity of that love, the fish explode into many. Imagine him, speaking, and don’t worry about what is reality, or what is plain, or what is mysterious. If you were there, it was all those things. If you can imagine it, it is all those things. Eat, drink, be happy. Accept the miracle. Accept, too, each spoken word spoken with love.
So, let’s imagine, as Mary Oliver suggests. Let’s imagine this story in a 21 st century setting. Imagine: Jesus is attending a meeting at an Episcopal Church. It’s the joint meeting of the Budget and Finance Committee and the Vestry, the church board. The church’s name? All Sinners’ Episcopal Church. Imagine further that some of Jesus’ disciples from today’s Gospel story are also there, sitting alongside some of the leaders from All Sinners’ Church. As we imagine this meeting, we can see Philip, the chair of the budget team, pointing out that churches never take in enough money to support all the ministries and projects that people want. In our mind’s eye, we can see Andrew, the champion of outreach, who laments that, lately, All Sinners’ has far too small a percentage of its operating budget set aside to give away for mission. Why, they even have to ask children to bring food to their fish dinners! We can see other disciples, too, passionate about worship or formation or fellowship or stewardship, good people who are weary of all these meetings. Their passion is in their plans for All Sinners’ special annual celebration. Some churches call it “Homecoming.” They call it “Sinners, Come Home,” because they always sing, “Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling…”
All Sinners’ Buildings and Grounds Committee is part of the meeting, too. They are grumbling again, because they still don’t have a full-time sexton, and no one set up any tables and chairs for the meeting (again). Who in heaven’s name will do it this year for “Sinners, Come Home”? Throughout the meeting, it seems pretty likely that no one there, none of the church’s leaders ever expect to see a miracle. Not at All Sinners’! That is not why they signed up. No one expects a miracle, let alone be part of one. In fact, no one at All Sinners’ really wants a miracle. They kind of like business-as-usual. They’re grateful Jesus and his friends have joined them, but they know why they’re there. They are there to serve God and to be good Christians and to keep the church’s doors open. Some serve out of a sense of duty or obligation – a good reason, but not good enough to keep the fires of passion and love burning for long. Others serve because they enjoy the work, which is also a fine reason, unless your joy slowly erodes over time, because you are so tired of serving so many for so long. Still others serve because they want to contribute to a cause greater than themselves. But a miracle? I don’t think so.
Whatever their reasons, the good and faithful servants at All Sinners’ come together, month by month, to identify a few reasonable goals, to set a workable plan or two in motion, and to carry out their endeavors with the resources at hand. They have such good intentions! They want to make sure their grand old church survives, with, perhaps, just a bit of growth. But not too much growth! Just enough so they don’t have to change their beloved ways of being that beloved church. They certainly don’t see their work together as a way for God’s glory and mercy and justice and love to explode, to use the poet’s word, through miracles. That would be so…unpredictable, so un-Episcopalian. I mean, they’d have to change their church name, from All Sinners’ to…?
You may have heard that this church, All Saints’ Episcopal Church, had such a meeting this past week. On Wednesday the faithful members of our Budget and Finance Committee, who meet at least monthly throughout the year and even more often when they are preparing budgets, came to a joint meeting with the faithful members of our Vestry. They had been asked to present a revised 2009 budget for the Vestry’s review, discussion, possible revision and final approval.
Now, I have good news and bad news about this meeting. The bad news is predictable. All Saints’ is still in a deficit position. Attendance and income, pledges and investments – they’re all down. This means that, regardless of special bequests and gifts and even the planned sale of the rectory, every area of our budget cannot be what we want it to be. No area of ministry at All Saints’ will receive what leaders have requested.
The good news is also predictable. Due to excellent money management, our expenses are in line, our staff budget remains intact, our investments are still relatively strong and our special gifts, including one particularly miraculous bequest, have reduced our debt load or expense to levels that will soon be the lowest All Saints’ has seen in nearly a decade. The problem, sisters and brothers, is not with our expenses or our staffing or our investments. The problem, as everyone who has ever served as a leader in any church, any where knows, is on the income side. The problem is with our individual and collective stewardship. This problem is age-old. The problem is always with financial giving. The problem is always with believing in miracles.
Now, here’s the real miracle. It’s not a miracle found in the outcome of that joint Budget/Finance and Vestry meeting. It’s not in the final numbers that were approved, about which you will be hearing more in the weeks ahead. The real miracle for me is in what so many around the table were saying that night. More times than I could count, someone would begin to speak by saying, “I really hate to say this, but…” or “It’s really hard to say this, but…” or “It breaks my heart to say this, but…” Some real, authentic, ferocious truth-telling took place last Wednesday. You can be proud of your elected and appointed leaders here at All Saints’. They are not “All Sinners.” In fact, they had the saintly courage to name the financial “elephant” in our “living room.” Actually, our current financial problems and dilemmas are far less challenging than many congregations and businesses and individuals have been facing. In the midst of all that “predictable” bad news and good news I mentioned, today we are still in a much better financial position than many churches. And yet, to move into God’s future for this church, to live into God’s dream, we need to get ready for miracles, real miracles.
A member of our vestry, who has given me permission to share what she said at Wednesday’s meeting, put it this way: “The real miracle for me in the loaves and fishes story is not just in what Jesus did. The real miracle is the fact that the food is already there. It’s already here at All Saints’. We already have all we need,” she said. “And,” she continued, “this budget is not just the vestry’s budget. It’s everyone’s budget. We need to be honest about that.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but honesty and authenticity – words spoken with love, as the poet put it – can feel unpredictable, like a miracle. Truly loving someone enough to listen and to learn from them, and then to speak the truth in love: THAT can create a miracle. Well, we’re going to make some time for miracles here at All Saints’. I’m talking about a series of parish “Listening and Learning” sessions, the first of which is on August 12 th. You’ll hear more about these sessions over the next few weeks. Your parish leaders are not expecting 5,000-plus people during these three gatherings of food, fellowship and conversation in August and September. But we’re going to use our imaginations. As church historian Diana Butler Bass puts it, we’ll be “imagining a new old church” (The Practicing Congregation). We’ll be imagining how wine expands and fish explode, as we sit down at tables to be fed by God’s living Word and one another.
The real miracle? It’s all about YOU. You showing up. You needing to be fed. You helping to feed others. You simply being part of the miracle. And all the while, Jesus is with us, saying, “It is I. Do not be afraid.” Just come. Come on August 12 th or to a session in September. Don’t worry, says the poet, about what’s real, or plain or even mysterious. Just come, listen, learn. Imagine with us. Be part of the real miracle. - The Rev. Thomas A. Momberg, July 26, 2009 |
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